08/15/2020
I made this video on Wednesday night... Later that night I felt the great feeling of being overwhelmed... I had A breakdown Thursday.. Working nonstop and forgetting to take my medication my problems and losses consumed me.. It was a frightening feeling as my heart felt like it was exploding. Susan and I have put everything we had into making this dream a reality...We live in South Philadelphia and can't even think about going home until this is done... Susan I want you to know how much I love you!! And Thankyou for being by my side in the Building of this Company.. You never once complained.. You never gave me s**t about anything...All you did was be there and helped in everyway you could..we often stayed nights here in a camper here on the property because running back to Philly was often out of the question...Susan came on Board in Febuary as the corporate Manager of the Timmy Lee's 10 Corperate Divions. The Enterprise Was just starting and was equipped for the Internet presentation of "Timmy Lee's New and Used Parts, the "4th Division" Ran By Heidi Devine and supervised by Huffman.. When engineering went wrong during Isahascaused us to washed out of our building with 9ft of water because of the routing of water from Impervious surfaces and a retention pond from a new development emptied out on to the 309 uphill from us. This is a Perfect example of Engineering "Gone Wrong"!! The water came down like a tidlewave washing away cars and trees even knocking down telephone poles.. Sadly a Innocent woman drowned just several ft away... Susan and I got out thank God because we had a warning from our friend Kevin who owned A Midas not very far away.... Had he not called we would have been washed down river... but I was exhausted after pulling and chaining down a trailer that was floating down river that contained our generators and camping gear.. As I was crawling out of the water I saw a car with a woman inside of it floating by and then slam into our build ripping the front over head door open and then as she cried out to me how She didn't want to die like this and to please help her she opened the door of her car in a last chance to swim to someone.... only to drown because of the current... These cries this woman made and the thoughts that I had of swimming out her haunt me... I was so exhausted and couldnt...but I wish I had tried.... I wish I had tried to do more for her.. I'm thankful Susan and I are alive... I couldn't picture my life without her but now these memories are tormenting me... I can't get them out of my head... I got drunk Friday night after not having Alcohol in almost 5yrs.. I feel ashamed that I drank.. I've tried to talk about it but reliving makes it worse.. The sight of her fearful eyes before she drowned will forever haunt me and the wander if she ever herd me as I yelled not to open the door to her.. It's in my wiring to protect any and everyone even if it involves puting my own life on the line.. I will.. I feel like I failed her.. As exhausted as I was I should have tried.. Since this day I've been Different and I've been on edge.. I'm so stressed out.. I've burned through our savings and the stress level is so because of our total loss.. Our Insurance will not cover anything because we were finally compliant with the building in all the safety codes and building codes and awaiting an inspection that was scheduled for the NEXT DAY!! Susan spent the first 3 days picking up our belongings and tools that washed as far as a 1/4 mile down river...my heart breaks for her because of irreplaceable items that cannot be found.. As I see her cry it absolutely makes my heart crumble.. I love this person with all my heart and all I can offer is comfort. My nervous breakdown that I had was a build up of all these emotional distressed and on top of it fight off Theives looking to loot the building.. Often fearing our safety until recent desition to not stay at the property anymore.. If I haven't responded to your text or if I miss your calls don't think I've blown you off.. We lost every computer... Susan's phone was washed away and mine not sure how it's even working.. We are in need of 2 smart phones and two lap top computers if anyone has one we could use it would be greatly appreciated.. I need to research for the prose' Lawsuits that I will be filing once we are cleaned up... We are burning through savings and any help or direction towards help would be greatly appreciated.. Finally was able to somewhat get my truck on the road which the front end was badly damaged from slamming in a washout as it was being pulled to higher ground in a last ditch effort to save the truck as both trucks were almost washed down river with Ale and I in them after it wouldn't start due to a dead battery..its been a lot to handle
