05/18/2026
This weekend was RallyCross and it was, as always, an amazing day! And I want to talk about my numbers, because I did really damn good.
Motorsports is hard y'all. My first day of motorsportsing was March 16, 2019 where I did one lap of SCCA RallyCross and decided that my life was now going to revolve around the RallyCross schedule. Before that I had never competed in anything. So there I was, at the age of 44, going all in because of one lap.
The first three seasons were fun. I was running my 2013 WRX and it was a hoot. The dirt and my engine did not play well together (air filters people, air. filters!), so when I bought my 1998 Legacy and started running her in 2022, my fourth season, I decided I wanted to get better. And then I got frustrated. Really, really frustrated. It seemed like everyone else was making progress and I was stagnating. I knew it wasn't the car because I was renting seat time and other people were successful in her, it was me.
Every time I pushed harder I spun out. When I braked harder I was told to be smoother, when I was smoother I was told to be more aggressive, when I was aggressive I was told to modulate that brake and the accelerator. And I just kept coming in last, or second to last, or whatever. Seasons 4 - 5 were emotionally draining. I loved RallyCross with my entire soul and it was crushing to not improve. My brain was not parsing the data that my car was feeding me quickly enough. A couple days I wanted to cry.
Season 6 we had SCCA RallyCross Nationals and I was not in a space to come in last place. Now, mind you, there is nothing wrong with coming in last place. Being out there competing already puts you further ahead than someone who is not. But I know me, and I knew that, for 2024, my psyche was not having it. I attended the event, provided support where I could, and thoroughly enjoyed the weekend.
After Nationals I decided that if what I was doing was not working, then I needed to do something else. So I focused. I focused on consistency and clean laps. I did not care what my times were, I wanted them all within 2 seconds of each other and I wanted them clean. Moving into season 7, 2025, I did the same. Consistent and clean. As my times improved I added in looking ahead. Which always sounds easier than it really is. I did compete in Nationals in 2025 and it was an incredible experience. I am glad I waited.
What I learned my adding and prioritizing looking ahead is that I also need to trust that I am now capable of processing and responding to the input that my car is sending me. It is interesting how I can start a lap looking ahead and by the end my vision wants to pull in closer and closer. It feels safer. It feels like I am "paying attention." It is a bad habit that I am unlearning.
So here we are, and I do appreciate you reading this far. Season 8, 2026. I did really damn good in our May event. I earned that 3rd place and worked so hard for it. The numbers reflect 8 seconds off 1st. Which comes out to 1 second per lap. A lot when laps are less than 60 seconds, but also not insurmountable. (it would have been less if I didn't hit 3 cones, grrr). What is interesting to me is that I was about to type, "the numbers also show that after a really good run, Run 3 with 57.111 clean seconds, I get in my head." But then I did some sorting, and I think I only thought I was in my head. (anxiety......keeps on tryin me, anxiety....).
Overall I was 16 of 42 drivers. My first lap had me at the 8th fastest time for that lap.
I have never been talented or gifted at anything. What I am good at requires a lot of work. And so, I think this 3rd place is currently my most favorite placing ever because it took 8 seasons to get here. May I stay focused and trust myself even more as this season continues.
(and yeah, driving sims are helpful, but I only find joy in on outdoor course seat time and am just not going to integrate virtual into my life)
