07/04/2026
HSM Metal Works – New Staff Announcement
We’re proud (and slightly concerned) to introduce our two newest “professionals”:
🐦 Betty – Head of Quality Control
Nothing leaves the workshop without her approval… mainly because she blocks the way and stares at it.
Expert in:
Judging welds without qualifications
Supervising from a safe distance
Looking busy while doing absolutely nothing
🐦 Fredu – Head of Operations
Runs the entire operation… or at least thinks he does.
Key responsibilities include:
Eating on the job (constantly)
Making noise during important work
Ignoring all instructions
Since joining, they have:
Increased noise levels by 300%
Reduced productivity by at least 20%
Taken zero responsibility for anything
HR is currently reviewing their contracts… but they’ve already taken over the place.
Welcome to the team, Betty & Fredu — we didn’t choose them… they chose us 🐦🐦
