08/10/2026
NEVER BUY SAUSAGE FROM FB MARKETPLACE.
I thought I was getting a good deal because the seller kept saying it was “homemade and fresh.” When I cut it open and saw all these tiny white things packed inside, I got confused. At first I thought maybe it was rice, seasoning, eggs, fat, or whatever people put in homemade sausage. I still have no clue what I’m even looking at. It definitely wasn’t what I expected to see when I sliced it open.
Then I checked the label they gave me and almost threw up. The expiration date was FIVE YEARS AGO. Five. Years. Ago. And yes, I already ate some of it because who expects somebody to sell prehistoric sausage on Facebook Marketplace? A few hours later my stomach started doing backflips and I was convinced I was about to become the first person in history taken out by discount sausage.
Now I’m trying to message the woman who sold it to me and her profile is completely gone. Vanished. Deleted. Like she knew exactly what she was doing. Facebook will fact check a joke in five seconds but somehow people can sell mystery meat from who knows where and that’s totally fine. Make that make sense. Also somebody please tell me what those little white things are because there’s no way that’s supposed to be inside a sausage and nobody is convincing me otherwise.
