Goffstown Ghostbusters

Goffstown Ghostbusters The Goffstown Ghostbusters, your local branch of the New England Ghostbusters, here for all your paranormal elimination needs

They’re here!If you’d like one, please send us a DM! The patches are $15 each. Please send me your email in the message ...
06/22/2026

They’re here!

If you’d like one, please send us a DM!

The patches are $15 each. Please send me your email in the message so I can send you a Venmo request. We have 25. If needed, we can order more. Happy to mail them.

First come, first serve!

06/21/2026

This Father's Day, remember:

Not every strange noise in the house is Dad's responsibility (or fault).

The rattling in the walls?
Probably pipes.

The banging in the basement?
Maybe the furnace.

The full-bodied apparition floating through the kitchen demanding revenge for events that occurred in 1873?

Yeah, that's on us.

Call the Goffstown Ghostbusters.

Give Dad the day off.

As requested, these have been ordered. We expect them before the end of the month. We have 25 coming.
06/10/2026

As requested, these have been ordered. We expect them before the end of the month. We have 25 coming.

Back in the day, the answer was simple to this iconic question:“Who ya gonna call?” Ghostbusters!But times have changed....
06/09/2026

Back in the day, the answer was simple to this iconic question:
“Who ya gonna call?” Ghostbusters!

But times have changed. Phones are smaller, ghosts are still rude, and nobody actually calls anyone anymore unless it’s an emergency or a pizza order gone wrong.

So we’re crowdsourcing the modern version.

If you were updating the Ghostbusters theme for today’s world, what would replace “call”?

“Who ya gonna text?”
“Who ya gonna DM?”
“Who ya gonna notify?”
“Who ya gonna ping?”
“Who ya gonna like your life depends on it?”

We’re genuinely curious how this line evolves in 2026 communication culture.

Drop your best modern rewrite below. Bonus points if it fits the song or has a fun ring to it.

Here at the Goffstown Ghostbusters, we take our role as the community’s bulwark against the paranormal very seriously.In...
06/02/2026

Here at the Goffstown Ghostbusters, we take our role as the community’s bulwark against the paranormal very seriously.

In the second Ghostbusters documentary, we learn about mood slime — a pink, gooey substance that absorbs and amplifies the emotions around it. Anger, fear, and negativity make it stronger, spreading bad vibes wherever it goes.

We’re happy to report that this Pride Month, local mood slime levels are at an all-time low.

How do we keep it that way?
Love thy neighbor. Build community through friendship, understanding, and acceptance. Be kind. Support one another. Leave the world a little better than you found it.

From all of us at the Goffstown Ghostbusters — Happy Pride Month. 👻🌈

We came. We saw. We accepted everybody.

We, of course, handle all your paranormal elimination and investigation needs. But do you know to call for all your mech...
06/01/2026

We, of course, handle all your paranormal elimination and investigation needs. But do you know to call for all your mechanical needs? We do!

Thanks Broken Wrench Repair, LLC for yet another automotive investigation and repair.

And if you need a ghost removed, please be patient. We’re walking as fast as we can!

05/10/2026

🌷👻 Happy Mother’s Day from the Goffstown Ghostbusters! 👻🌷

Today we honor the moms who:

* hear strange noises at 2 AM and investigate anyway,
* somehow keep tiny humans alive and on schedule,
* survive minivans that smell like melted crayons and soccer cleats,
* and can neutralize chaos faster than a Class-7 full roaming v***r can cause it

Honestly, no proton pack on Earth is stronger than a mom carrying six grocery bags, a coffee, and everyone’s emotional stability at the same time.

To all the mothers, grandmothers, stepmothers, foster moms, and honorary moms out there:

Thank you for keeping the world from turning into a complete catastrophe. 💐

If you hear mysterious footsteps today, don’t worry.
It’s probably just your kids sneaking in breakfast and burnt toast.

05/03/2026

🚨📞 PSA FROM GOFFSTOWN GHOSTBUSTERS HQ 📞🚨

After a full week of absolutely zero reported paranormal activity… we are suddenly receiving an overwhelming number of calls about “haunted schools.”

Interesting timing. Very interesting. 🤔

Reports include:
👻 Mysterious noises that apparently waited until the night before school to begin
👻 Lockers that have been “aggressively haunted” despite being untouched for 7 days
👻 An “ancient spirit” that seems suspiciously aligned with tomorrow’s math quiz

After careful investigation, we’ve identified the phenomenon as:
👉 Last-Night-of-Vacation Panic Poltergeists

While we admire the creativity, please be advised:
📚 A ghost cannot complete your homework
📚 A haunting does not excuse attendance
📚 And no, we will not “contain” your first day back

Our teams remain on standby for legitimate supernatural threats… not the return of early mornings.

Pack your bags, set your alarms… and face the horror head-on.

We at the Goffstown Ghostbusters recognize how expensive things are right now. Gas, food, housing… the list goes on 📈In ...
05/01/2026

We at the Goffstown Ghostbusters recognize how expensive things are right now. Gas, food, housing… the list goes on 📈

In an effort to mitigate the impact on you, we’ve created the attached guide to help determine your next steps when facing a haunting:

Whether that means seeking professional assistance, attempting a “safe” DIY solution, or considering a strategic relocation to a different ZIP code depending on the severity of activity 🧭🏠

Because while we can’t fix the economy, we can at least help you decide when it’s worth calling in people who own nuclear-powered backpacks ⚡🎒

Swung into the Village Trestle. Saw something familiar hanging on the bar!
04/19/2026

Swung into the Village Trestle. Saw something familiar hanging on the bar!

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Derry, NH
03045

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