Goffstown Ghostbusters

Goffstown Ghostbusters The Goffstown Ghostbusters, your local branch of the New England Ghostbusters, here for all your paranormal elimination needs

When you are on call but run out of snacks…
08/30/2026

When you are on call but run out of snacks…

Are Australian cattle dogs good ghost busting dogs? Let us know your thoughts!
08/16/2026

Are Australian cattle dogs good ghost busting dogs? Let us know your thoughts!

OH, COME ON.It’s August 12th.AUGUST.And we’re already getting flashbacks.Last year it was Lowe’s. Someone saw a giant sk...
08/12/2026

OH, COME ON.

It’s August 12th.

AUGUST.

And we’re already getting flashbacks.

Last year it was Lowe’s. Someone saw a giant skeleton…thing in the Halloween decorations area and apparently decided this was a job for us.

Now we get called about TWO OF THEM AT WALMART.

We’re not even halfway through August and we’re already bracing ourselves for another few months of:

“Is this a ghost?”

“My neighbor has a skeleton in their yard and it’s looking at me”

“There’s a witch in the window.”

PLEASE.

It’s Halloween decorations. Concerned? Check if it has a tag. We’ve only had one instance of a real ghost having a tag.

We fully intend to start charging a wasted trip fee.

🚨 HEAT ADVISORY NOTICE (AGAIN, UGH) 🚨The Goffstown Ghostbusters have received an alarming number of calls asking if we c...
08/07/2026

🚨 HEAT ADVISORY NOTICE (AGAIN, UGH) 🚨

The Goffstown Ghostbusters have received an alarming number of calls asking if we can “release a ghost” into homes to create cold spots.

For the record: 👻 Ghosts are not an approved air conditioning system.

While hauntings may occasionally result in a noticeable drop in temperature, they also tend to bring unexplained noises, moving furniture, mysterious whispers, and everyone’s least favorite substance, ectoplasm.

Please stick to fans, shade, and actual air conditioners.

Stay cool, Goffstown. ☀️🚫👻

08/04/2026

Whoever reported “multiple full-body apparitions” conveniently forgot to mention the projector.

Seriously folks. We have the same amount of paperwork whether it’s a real ghost or a not.

I’m definitely putting in the “Paranormal Response Minimum fee” in for this one.

Happy Monday. 👻🙄

07/15/2026

📞 Goffstown Ghostbusters HQ Report 📞

The phone has been ringing off the hook all day.

"The sun is red."
"The sky looks haunted."
"Is this another Class VII atmospheric entity?"

We appreciate everyone thinking of us. Truly. 👻

Our team has completed a full PKE sweep, checked for dimensional rifts, and confirmed there are no signs of paranormal activity.

This time, boring meteorology wins the case.

The red sun and hazy skies are the result of smoke from the Canadian wildfires drifting into New England. The tiny smoke particles scatter sunlight, allowing more of the red and orange wavelengths to reach our eyes. It's eerie, but it's a perfectly natural phenomenon.

We'll leave this one to the firefighters and meteorologists.

That said... if your toaster starts speaking Latin, your attic begins chanting sea shanties, or your neighbor's garden gnome starts collecting overdue library books, you know who to call.

Stay safe, avoid prolonged outdoor activity if the air quality is poor, and remember:

Not everything spooky is supernatural. Sometimes it's just physics being overly dramatic. 🔥🌫️👻

👻 Goffstown Ghostbusters Field Report: Historical InvestigationBetween calls today, the crew stopped by the Goffstown Hi...
07/11/2026

👻 Goffstown Ghostbusters Field Report: Historical Investigation

Between calls today, the crew stopped by the Goffstown Historical Society open house to do a little research.

The PKE meters were, as expected, showing readings above normal levels. Given the amount of history contained inside those walls, we weren’t exactly surprised. Some places just have a little more energy than others.

One section on the second floor caught our attention: the story of the hotel that once stood in Goffstown before being lost to fire under what were described as “suspicious” circumstances back in 1923.

Now we have some questions.

Could this explain why our meters always seem to spike while traveling up Mountain Road? Maybe…

Today, we got a new bumper sticker.Not only does it look great, it’s a message we can agree with. 
07/11/2026

Today, we got a new bumper sticker.

Not only does it look great, it’s a message we can agree with. 

🇺🇸 July 5th Status Report 🇺🇸Yesterday’s operation was a complete success.19 Loyalist ghosts captured. 6 of them called u...
07/05/2026

🇺🇸 July 5th Status Report 🇺🇸

Yesterday’s operation was a complete success.

19 Loyalist ghosts captured. 6 of them called us “utterly uncivilized”. I won’t share what we said in response as this group has some impressionable followers.

Most importantly, 9 electric kettles suspected of aiding and abetting anti-independence activities were shattered on sight during capture operations. We left boxes of instant coffee at each scene.

(Photo is an example, no one would let us photograph their tea kettle post accident)

No further loyalist or tea-related incidents have been reported.

Remember, if you see something strange, British or otherwise, in your neighborhood, give us a call.

We’re ready to believe you.

🫖🚫👻🇺🇸

🇺🇸 PARANORMAL INCIDENT REPORT 🇺🇸Date: July 3, 2026Location: Goffstown, NHSummary:As America prepares to celebrate 250 ye...
07/03/2026

🇺🇸 PARANORMAL INCIDENT REPORT 🇺🇸

Date: July 3, 2026

Location: Goffstown, NH

Summary:

As America prepares to celebrate 250 years of independence, the Goffstown Ghostbusters have received multiple reports of unusually paranormal activity.

Investigation has revealed the source to be a group of disgruntled Loyalist spirits who apparently remain upset about the outcome of events in 1776.

Witnesses report hearing:

👻 "The colonies will never make it on their own!"

👻 "When push comes to shove, they’ll send a fully armed battalion to remind you of their love!"

👻 "These fireworks are entirely too rebellious!"

The Goffstown Ghostbusters are actively working to put these spirits into the containment unit where they can complain about rebels in peace.

Happy Independence Day, America.

Address

Derry, NH
03045

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